This is part two of my journey to the ultimate lifestyle redesign. If you haven’t read part one yet, click here to read it first. It’ll make more sense, I promise.

The next morning, I’m at the office with Rex and our other team members. I haven’t mentioned what happened yet.  The phone rings, and it’s the Controller from Bay Area Fellowship.  I’ve met her, but I wouldn’t say we’re friends.  She says that she has my card and asks me what I want her to do with it.  I hadn’t thought that far.  I jokingly tell her that she can use it for another ten days or so, but it probably won’t work after that.  We owe a fortune that’s due every thirty days and without using it to continuously roll business expenses, we can’t make the payment.  That all comes out before I even realize what I’ve just said.  And now the reality is really hitting me. I’m wondering if I did the right thing.

I can hear her voice get shaky.  She thanks me.  She says that my faith is inspiring.  She says that she’s going to put it in the safe and look at it when she needs a reminder to keep her faith in God, particularly when all the pressures of managing the finances of a rapidly expanding church are bearing down on her.  I honestly can’t believe what I’m hearing. I can’t comprehend that my credit card that isn’t even going to work in a few days would mean anything to anyone else.  She tells me to be proud of the step of faith I just took and to trust in Him.  I thank her and we hang up.  I shut the door to the conference room and just cry.

For the first time, I realize that I have taken a step of faith.  I begin to realize the extent of the change I’ve set in motion.  And now it’s time to tell Rex.  I tell him about the church service and the instructions for the offering and how I know that I did the right thing. I tell him about the phone call.  He doesn’t say much.  He points out what a disruption this will be to our normal lives, and I tell him that I recognize that.  We agree to talk about it again in a few days.  I muddle through the day, getting my work done but completely distracted.  I feel like I’m supposed to be scared to death, but I have an unfamiliar peace.

That evening, Rex and I start reconciling the American Express account to figure out what is due when.  We determine that we owe about $80,000, with about $20,000 due in about ten days and the balance in 30 days after that.  We calculate that we have about $5,000 in accounts receivable to apply to the first balance, but not much beyond that.  The numbers are big and scary, but there’s an odd comfort in just knowing where to begin.  We’re both stressed, and I just start to pray. I pray anytime I can.  I silently pray in the morning as I eat breakfast. I pray in the shower.  I pray when I drive.  I don’t know what else to do, so I just pray.

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Part three of the journey continues tomorrow. Click here to subscribe.